last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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