i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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