Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
