So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
