also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
