I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
