I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Randomize
