Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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