Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
