I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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