god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
