I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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