It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
