Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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