Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
