i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
