Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize