I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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