My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
