She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize