I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
