i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize