You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
