i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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