After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
