Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
