wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish there were birth control emojis
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
