member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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