i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize