there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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