Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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