oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
