Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
