I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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