I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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