You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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