I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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