next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
