I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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