I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just want to make out with him forever
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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