Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize