Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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