You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
