Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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