Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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