discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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