Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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