Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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