i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
