laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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