I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who wears a wallet chain?!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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