So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
