I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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