Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
