addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
