We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
