Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Randomize