im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
