Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Panties = found
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
