I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
