I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
