if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
