your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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