And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
