That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
