Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize